Help is at hand

Greg, our IT manager has a great sense of humour. He goes through stages where he sends out lengthy emails updating us about the latest development he has spent months working on, or ironing out reported problems, or suggesting proposals for new initiatives. It would be easy for them to gloss over our collective minds as we ask the ultimate question: what's in it for me? This is closely followed by: how does this work again? Or: what did you say?

Greg was in fine form on April Fool's Day last year. This year, he was suspiciously quiet, but today's email confirmed that he has, indeed, been a busy boy lately. As the company grows, a new help desk system has been put in place so that staff are not randomly emailing different members of the IT team and asking for help. It sounds impressive, but this system has several alternatives in place for Rick, one of the company directors. Here is the special service that Rick is being treated to:

Rick, for problems with your email please email ricks-email@***.net, unless those problems relate to sending rather then receiving, in which case email nicks-sent-email@***.net. For problems with Google docs email ricks.googledocs@***.net, but only on Wednesdays. Google doc problem emails sent outside this time will be deleted. For issues with your iPhone please email convinceusweshouldcare@***.net. For problems with your Office applications just close 1000 of the 1500 office documents you currently have open and don't email anyone. For any of your other problems please consult a registered medical practitioner.