Tiny potato widsom

Someone we are very fond of has recently embarked on a journey of personal development. He is highly accomplished in his current field (and several others) but lacks confidence in his ability to cope with studying towards his dream profession.

We know he'll be fabulous at whatever he does and that once he finds his feet he'll do really well with his study and future career. But how do you convince someone that your belief in them should spill over? Motivational quotes help some people.

This morning, three tiny potatoes presented him with our favourite motivational quote du jour. It's currently pinned to our office wall ... but I guess you need to know us and our work environment to understand how it sums up our humour and the manner in which it's intended. Luckily, he did!

Thought for the day: believe in yourself and never doubt tiny potato wisdom.

That sinking feeling

We had a party last night, a barbeque for some family and friends. We cooked a mountain of food and crossed our fingers that the weather gods would break our barbeque curse and instead deliver us a fine evening. The gods smiled! So what was on the menu? Two beer can chickens, Island Bay sausages, corn on the cob, homemade ciabatta, baked jacket potatoes with sour cream and homegrown chives, arancini to start, then banoffee tarts and mini chocolate eclairs with strawberry cream for dessert. Yum!

I love prepping for a party. Menu planning, the baking binge that starts the night before (and usually involves much singing and dancing in the kitchen), the spotless home that we only ever seem to achieve when we're entertaining, enjoying food, sunshine and great conversation ... why don't we do this more often?

The aftermath is less fun, though. I'm getting better at planning menus that revolve around one or two courses of finger food and cleaning up as we go but there is always still an inevitable mountain of dishes that follows the big event. Every time I fill the sink or scrub another barbeque tray, I think back to a poster that used to be displayed outside a favourite teacher's office at secondary school many years ago - one that I used to look at and think, "yeah, right. I'll never do that."

It turns out that Mrs Miller was right. Last night (and today), this is what was on my mind.

Ah, c'est la vie!

Other people's problems

Someone once told me that other people's problems are just that.

The problem is, some people don't have a problem with making their problems yours!

I wonder if this t-shirt is for real? I'm sure it would be a bestseller!

Followers

Sometimes I know that feeling! LOL

High tech birds

A giggle for a rainy Tuesday morning.

Wine o'clock

It's that time of the year. I'm clearing out my bulging inbox and waiting for wine o'clock to arrive, along with the end of the world. Cheers!!

Irish coffee

Thought for the day:

The CFO has instructed that we stock up the ingredients for Irish coffee in bulk.

Make mine a double!

The best friendships

Received from a friend:

Sounds perfect to me!

Juicing a lemon

I first heard this joke about juicing a lemon many years ago and it has stuck in my mind:

A local bar was so sure that its bartender was the strongest man around that they offered a standing $1,000 bet. The bartender would squeeze a lemon until all the juice ran into a glass, and then give the lemon to a patron. Anyone who could squeeze another drop of juice out would win the money. Many people tried but nobody was able to do it.

One day a scrawny, little man came in, wearing thick glasses and a polyester suit. He said in a squeaky voice, "I'd like to try the bet." After the laughter died down, the bartender grabbed a lemon and squeezed it. Then he handed the wrinkled remains of the rind to the little man who clenched it in his small fist.

Soon the crowd's laughter turned to total silence as six drops of juice fell into the glass. As the crowd cheered, the bartender paid the $1,000 and asked the little man, "What do you do for a living?"

The little man replied with a winning smile, "I work for the IRD!"

While making lemon meringue tarts recently, I learned a lot about juicing a lemon. It's not as rudimentary as it looks and there are some small things you can do to yield a lot more juice from the very same lemon. For example, prick lemons with a fork and put them in the microwave for 15-20 seconds - this could yield twice as much juice. Then, roll them back and forward along the bench top a few times to loosen the membranes. If you want to grate fresh zest, cover the grater with plastic wrap and it will stop the rind getting stuck in the holes. Sounds like a sensible way to exfoliate!

I can't help but draw comparison between juicing a lemon and 'encouraging' someone to do something for you. Squeezing harder and for longer isn't going to get the juice out (even if the squeezer works for IRD!), but a bit of warming up, a gentle massage and some exfoliating would work wonders and be almost twice as productive as if you'd just told them to do something while cold. What do you think? ;-)

Veterinarian's Hospital

One of the many things I love about my iPod is the surprises it can deliver when I set it to shuffle. No matter what music I currently have on the 'little' 16 GB iPod I carry around with me, I always have the original Muppet Show Album on the playlist. Always. I know every word of every song and skit and never tire of the humour. Although I usually listen to the album in its entirety, it sometimes becomes interspersed with the rest of my music.

While I was out walking today, this episode of Veterinarian's Hospital came on in among everything else and I laughed out loud while I listened. That's another thing I love about my iPod: there's no way you can tell what I'm listening to unless my foolish grin gives something away. :-)



Laugh it up on your Friday afternoon.

Today is your lucky day

I have had a wonderful run of good luck lately – almost unbelievably so. With each exciting turn of events, I feel both delighted and grateful. Life is, indeed, good.

Imagine my surprise one morning this week when I received a txt message announcing the best news of all. It arrived at 6:07 am and was all in capital letters, so I knew it must be important. Rather than paraphrase my good news, I thought I’d share it all word for word:

CONGRATE:YOUR MOBILE NUMBER HAS WON 500,000 GBP CRICKET MOBILE AWARD 2012. TO CLAIM YOUR PRIZE SEND UR EMAIL &  NAME TO JOHN BY EMAIL: iccmobawas@hotmail.com

Gosh, what a clever little mobile phone I have! I had no idea my phone even played cricket, let alone was good enough to receive such a grandiose award. What do they say about dark horses (or old red mobile phones)?

Have you been as fortunate as me recently? Or are you still sitting ready and waiting with your bank details for when your Nigerian scam email arrives?

Welcome to New Zillund

I saw this image on Blog on the Tracks today and had to steal it for myself. Priceless!

Zoom in closer and take a better look. For anyone who knows what the New Zealand accent sounds like, you'll know what I mean. Although I love New Zealand, I'm one of those cultural cringers; I find it embarrassing to listen to Prime Minister John Key speak, especially during overseas interviews.

While we laugh about fush n chups and other words on this list, I can assure you they are not made up. Apparently Wendy was one of the names my parents were throwing around when I was born. Dad liked it, Mum wasn't fussed, but my Italian grandmother had the final say: "Windy? How can you call a baby Windy?" Whew!

I remember learning about New Zealand English at school. Back then, rising intonations, diphthongs and a broad accent were just things we had to know about to pass exams but, sadly, they are very real. Just step outside the country for a moment or two and you'll notice it immediately. *shudder*

As a teacher, I have made audio recordings for my students for years, particularly for those living overseas. I'm conscious that I speak quite quickly and make a concerted effort to talk s l o w l y when recording or speaking publicly. I emailed off an audio file to a kiwi family living in China, feeling proud of my efforts. The next day, I received an email back from the children's mother. She and the kids were thrilled with my recording and said it reminded them how much they missed hearing the kiwi accent. I was mortified! Needless to say, I now record at my usual talking pace lest my attempts to slow down and enunciate carefully be misinterpreted.

What do you think of the kiwi accent?

Delete cookies

A smile for your Friday. :-)

#DailyBitch digest

We're off to the snow for a week. I guess it's ironic going to the snow after it came to us in such spectacular fashion earlier this week, but we've been looking forward to going away for quite a while now. We've packed up the car with far more stuff than we'll need but are bound to have forgotten some essentials. It will be good to have a change of scenery, time to catch up on some reading, drink lots of coffee (I've stocked up on fresh coffee beans) and catch up with a couple of friends during the week. Oh, and take some (more) skiing lessons. *gulp*

I don't have a fancy/smart phone that can get online so can't guarantee internet access during the week. How will I cope with a week offline? Well, I've managed it before (kind of - just) but hope to be able to check things on my laptop or iPod touch occasionally ... hopefully.

Just in case I can't get online every day, I'm going to post a digest of my #DailyBitch tweets in advance, because I know the Twitterverse will be hanging out for them each day. ;-) Really.

#DailyBitch digest

• Saturday 20 August: "I want a man who is rich, sensitive and neutered." #DailyBitch
• Monday 22 August: "I've stopped blaming my parents and started blaming my children." #DailyBitch
• Tuesday 23 August: "Life is so much less stressful if you ignore." #DailyBitch
• Wednesday 24 August: "I never hate myself in the morning; I sleep past noon." #DailyBitch
• Thursday 25 August: "Nice outfit, girl. Skank convention in town?" #DailyBitch
• Friday 26 August: "Some of my deepest insights are based on a lifetime of not giving a crap." #DailyBitch
• Saturday 27 August: "The more men change, the less their underwear stinks." #DailyBitch

See you on the other side!

Things to do when the network is down

The network has been up and down like a yo-yo this morning before finally crashing in spectacular style a couple of hours ago. Sure, it's frustrating for most people, but when you have the word online in your job title ... well, it's like trying to knit with one arm tied behind your back.

We started out pretending that we could work independently of the network for a bit, but that doesn't leave much when every single file is stored centrally. Emails are also down, along with our intranet, printers etc. Time to surrender to the machine and find other ways to amuse ourselves.

Things to do when the network is down:

• Cheese Scone Friday. Make it a good one.
• Arrange absent colleague's teddy bears into dodgy positions and/or hide them in questionable places around the office. Endless fun.
• Move stuff around randomly - walls, wires, furniture, desks. Yes, we're easily amused.
• Socialise - I mean, 'catch up with colleagues about important issues' over in the other block.
• Buy lots of random and unnecessary crap off the daily deals sites. All of them.
• Read the news. Again. 
• Clear your Google Reader RSS feeds until Outlook starts working again.
• Read a book - you know, of the paper variety. 
• Cross our fingers and pray for a big dumping of snow soon in time for a ski trip in a few weeks.
• Organise coffee dates for the weekend. Lots of them.
• Hold a meeting.

Any other suggestions?

Friday funnies

Here are some random funnies for Friday.

I've been desperate to include this image in a presentation or workshop recently. I haven't yet found the perfect vehicle for it but, when I do, I'm sure I won't be the only one laughing.

You can't keep a prolific blogger down ...

Ever come out of a meeting feeling like this?


An oldie but a goodie. I'm sure that everyone who has ever worked in the areas of IT, professional learning or corporate training can relate to this.


I'd love to do something like this! The film quality is dreadful but the final effect is awesome.

Happy Friday, folks!

Help is at hand

Greg, our IT manager has a great sense of humour. He goes through stages where he sends out lengthy emails updating us about the latest development he has spent months working on, or ironing out reported problems, or suggesting proposals for new initiatives. It would be easy for them to gloss over our collective minds as we ask the ultimate question: what's in it for me? This is closely followed by: how does this work again? Or: what did you say?

Greg was in fine form on April Fool's Day last year. This year, he was suspiciously quiet, but today's email confirmed that he has, indeed, been a busy boy lately. As the company grows, a new help desk system has been put in place so that staff are not randomly emailing different members of the IT team and asking for help. It sounds impressive, but this system has several alternatives in place for Rick, one of the company directors. Here is the special service that Rick is being treated to:

Rick, for problems with your email please email ricks-email@***.net, unless those problems relate to sending rather then receiving, in which case email nicks-sent-email@***.net. For problems with Google docs email ricks.googledocs@***.net, but only on Wednesdays. Google doc problem emails sent outside this time will be deleted. For issues with your iPhone please email convinceusweshouldcare@***.net. For problems with your Office applications just close 1000 of the 1500 office documents you currently have open and don't email anyone. For any of your other problems please consult a registered medical practitioner.

The life of an Italian child

This has been in cyberspace for quite some time and there are a few Facebook groups set up around it. I laugh out loud every time I read it! A friend sent it to me and a whole bunch of other Italians today with the comment: "not gonna post this publicly, but you'll relate to at least 3 or 4 of these!!!". 3 or 4? Who is he kidding?? Both he and I could probably round off the list between us, or at least know someone else who can!

Italiano? Si! Certamente!

1. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
2. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced 'sangwich.'
3. Your family dog understood Italian.
4. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
5. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout
6. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
7. You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. [Wow, that's really Italian!]
8. You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.
9. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
10. You were afraid not to turn up to church on Sunday and take your turn as an altar boy because hell seemed like such a bad place.
11. You thought it was normal that the first words out of your mothers mouth was to ask you what you wanted to eat.
12. You thought that everyone understood what you were saying by your hand gestures.
13. Your mum's (or nonna's) main hobby is cleaning.
14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.
16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.
17. You ate your salad after the main course.
18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.
20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your hand
21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat..
23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.
24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Vince, or Johnny.
25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
26. You have relatives you don't speak to. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.
28. You relate on some level, admit it, to The Godfather and The Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't refuse! Forrgetttabbboutit! Badda bing!
29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
31. You thought that talking loud was normal.
32. You thought sugared almonds and the tarantella were common at all weddings.
33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house.
36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.
37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian.)
38. You called pasta 'maccheroni'.
39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school.
40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.
41. Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.
42. Those of you who get this . . . YOU KNOW who to pass it on to!

Clothing bin

As I was sorting out some old clothes yesterday, ready for another delivery to the clothing bin, I came across a couple of items from yonder years. Surprisingly, they have survived being packed up (and probably unpacked) several times this past decade and merely transported from one place to another before resting, once again, in my bottom drawer. It's unlikely I will wear most of them again. So why do I keep them?

In my classroom teaching days, I mostly taught children aged 7-10 years, many of them budding fashionistas (of which I am not) and all with opinions. About everything. As the children's age decreased, their opinions were more freely forthcoming. About everything.

Certain pieces of clothing brought back memories of comments from my junior fashion police. There was always the daily watch for things like earrings ("I like the earrings you are wearing today better than yesterday's ones but, please, don't wear the smiley faces again"), hair styles ("You should wear pigtails more often, then you'll look like one of us" - lol!) and other accessories ("I liked that ring when you first bought it, but don't you have any others?").

Here is a selection of comments about various pieces of clothing from my teaching wardrobe, directly from the mouths of the babes. Every comment was made in a excited tone of genuine wonder, as though they were making some great discovery and couldn't wait to share it with me. Lucky me!

• On a cream-coloured crochet top: "Oh, my mother has a tablecloth just like that!"
• On a blue mini-skirt with a large daisy print: "That is such an ugly skirt, but it really suits you." (When asked for clarification, she pointed out that "I really hate the material, but you look so good in it". Still not convinced!)
• On a deep red shirt over dark green jeans: "You look like a Christmas tree today!"
• On a day when three teachers inadvertently wore baggy white shirts over blue jeans: "Do you all have to wear the same clothes on Fridays?"
• On a polar fleece top: "You look just like Mr Young!" (Large, male principal, who indeed had a top made of polar fleece but in a totally different colour and style, ie not resembling mine in the slightest!)
• And the clincher, when wearing a simple skirt and top with boots: "Why do you look nice today? Is it because we're going to a funeral?"

Anyone else up for a backhanded compliment? Surely I can't be the only victim of such a harsh fashion commentary by littlies?

Bea Arthur's Sex and the City parody

With the passing of Bea Arthur (aged 86) this week, there has been plenty of mention in the media about her lengthy career on stage and television. While I can never confess to have been a fan of The Golden Girls, for which she was best known in New Zealand, it has been interesting to learn more about this talented actor and hear about some other examples of her work.

And then a friend of mine posted a link to this video on Facebook. Bea Arthur and friends parody Sex and the City, one of my favourite tv shows ever. See what happens to Carrie, Miranda, Samantha and Charlotte in years to come; you'll see that they've still got 'it' but, after watching this video, 'it' can never really be the same again.

Bea Arthur's Sex and the City Parody - watch more funny videos

Hilarious!