Secret confessions of a coffee drinker

While waiting for coffee at my favourite downtown cafe a few days ago, I spotted a printed copy of Secret confessions of a barista stuck to the wall. Although my coffee making skills extend only as far as making the perfect espresso in my stovetop caffettiera, I can imagine how annoying some customers and their quirks must be.

I found myself 'defending' or responding to some of the points on the list ...

On being in a hurry
Sure, sometimes I'm in a hurry. However, I understand that like all fine food, making good coffee is an art and that good things take time. I am highly suspicious of one touch coffee machines that proclaim to produce perfect lattes or cappuccinos at the touch of a button. I'm happy to be proven wrong about this but I don't see how a machine working on autopilot can replicate the art of making good coffee. I wouldn't dare risk the consequences of asking my barista to hurry while making my coffee.

On paying by card
One word: CashBack.

On what he's really thinking
My barista's face is actually quite expressive. He's also not backwards in coming forward, which can be amusing. At other times, customers know to keep their distance. Either way, I wouldn't be silly enough to do anything that might jeapordise the perfect coffee he makes.

On manners and mobiles
Only Richard Cranium would do this. *shakes head*

On the grab and go
My Ideal Cup is a distinctive purple colour, which means that I can watch it progress up the queue and know exactly when it's ready. It also deters others from grabbing it by mistake.

Are you guilty of any of the secret barista crimes?