The life of an Italian child

This has been in cyberspace for quite some time and there are a few Facebook groups set up around it. I laugh out loud every time I read it! A friend sent it to me and a whole bunch of other Italians today with the comment: "not gonna post this publicly, but you'll relate to at least 3 or 4 of these!!!". 3 or 4? Who is he kidding?? Both he and I could probably round off the list between us, or at least know someone else who can!

Italiano? Si! Certamente!

1. You have at least one relative who wore a black dress every day for an entire year after a funeral.
2. You spent your entire childhood thinking what you ate for lunch was pronounced 'sangwich.'
3. Your family dog understood Italian.
4. Every Sunday afternoon of your childhood was spent visiting your grandparents and extended family.
5. You've experienced the phenomena of 150 people fitting into 50 square feet of yard during a family cookout
6. You were surprised to discover the FDA recommends you eat three meals a day, not seven.
7. You thought killing the pig each year and having salami, capacollo, pancetta and prosciutto hanging out to dry from your shed ceiling was absolutely normal. [Wow, that's really Italian!]
8. You ate pasta for dinner at least three times a week, and every Sunday, and laughed at the commercial for Wednesday is Prince Spaghetti day.
9. You thought nylons were supposed to be worn rolled to the ankles.
10. You were afraid not to turn up to church on Sunday and take your turn as an altar boy because hell seemed like such a bad place.
11. You thought it was normal that the first words out of your mothers mouth was to ask you what you wanted to eat.
12. You thought that everyone understood what you were saying by your hand gestures.
13. Your mum's (or nonna's) main hobby is cleaning.
14. You were surprised to find out that wine was actually sold in stores.
15. You thought that everyone made their own tomato sauce.
16. You never ate meat on Christmas Eve or any Friday for that matter.
17. You ate your salad after the main course.
18. You thought Catholic was the only religion in the world.
19. You were beaten at least once with a wooden spoon or broom.
20. You thought every meal had to be eaten with a hunk of bread in your hand
21. You can understand Italian but you can't speak it.
22. You have at least one relative who came over on the boat..
23. All of your uncles fought in a World War.
24. You have at least six male relatives named Tony, Vince, or Johnny.
25. You have relatives who aren't really your relatives.
26. You have relatives you don't speak to. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!
27. You drank wine before you were a teenager.
28. You relate on some level, admit it, to The Godfather and The Sopranos. I maka a meata ball you can't refuse! Forrgetttabbboutit! Badda bing!
29. You grew up in a house with a yard that didn't have one patch of dirt that didn't have a flower or a vegetable growing out of it.
30. Your grandparent's furniture was as comfortable as sitting on plastic. Wait!!!! You were sitting on plastic.
31. You thought that talking loud was normal.
32. You thought sugared almonds and the tarantella were common at all weddings.
33. You thought everyone got pinched on the cheeks and money stuffed in their pockets by their relatives.
34. Your mother is overly protective of the males in the family no matter what their age.
35. There was a crucifix in every room of the house.
36. Wakes would be held in someone's living room.
37. You couldn't date a boy without getting approval from your father. (Oh, and he had to be Italian.)
38. You called pasta 'maccheroni'.
39. You dreaded taking out your lunch at school.
40. Going out for a cup of coffee usually meant going out for a cup of coffee over Zia's house.
41. Every condition, ailment, misfortune, memory loss and accident was attributed to the fact that you didn't eat something.
42. Those of you who get this . . . YOU KNOW who to pass it on to!