We all know how to have fun and know who we are as individuals, right, just like we know what we want for ourselves? Wrong! I thought I was getting a pretty good handle on this during the past few years but now am having second (and third and fourth) thoughts.
Four years ago, I decided that my life needed some drastic changes. Making a career out of being a perfectionist and a workaholic only left two things: more work and no satisfaction. So I left a supposedly 'good' (ie stable but dead end) job in a career that was all I'd ever wanted to do and took a leap. It took quite some time but I let go of sooooo many self-imposed restrictions, as well as those imposed by others who had no right to impose them, and started doing things (or not doing things) just because I wanted to. I was the most 'selfish' I had ever been and life changed dramatically. I was genuinely happy for the first time in years!
But Café Chick is only a part of me, not the whole me. Unfortunately, it didn't take long for the 'old' me and her stress-making, workaholic ways to creep back up and start strangling the me I was getting to know. I managed to keep things in check for a while and get back on track. However, I'm not sure I know who I really am now, let alone what I want. Don't get me wrong: I've got a pretty good idea of who Café Chick is as well as who my work persona is. I know how a lot of people around me see me. I can usually work out how they want me to be and act accordingly. I just don't know who I am.
The Eight Irresistible Principles of Fun is fantastic and just what I need at this moment in my life. I'm sure I am not alone in this. I need to have a declutter, both physically and mentally, work out who I am then be that person instead of feeling ashamed of her. I have an elaborate history of being walked over and subsequently passed over personally, professionally and in many of my relationships. I need to work out how to stop this and not feel bad about it. Maybe this is what 2011 really has in store for me? I certainly hope so - how very exciting that would be!